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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
I think that if dogs could talk they would be an endangered species. So for
the life of me, I don’t understand why Hungarian scientists are working on
some computer software that will allow humans to understand dogs when they bark.
Hungarian Ethnologist, Csaba Molnar, told Reuters reporters that the software
he and his colleagues are working on at ELTE University in Budapest, will allow
owners to understand their dogs better. Molnar said, “A possible commercial
application could be a device for dog-human communication.”
So what, exactly, could humans expect if dogs could verbally communicate?
I have a few guesses, like: “Would you turn that stupid TV off and take me for
a walk!”; “You know, Brunno’s owner next door feeds him off
the dinner table.”; “If you try to put that stupid sweater on me
you’re going to walk with a limp!”; or, “You really don’t
intend to go out with me dressed like that, do you?”
Certain things are always better left unsaid and certain creatures are better
off left mute. Dogs are at the top of that creature list.
The relationship between canines and humans has spanned thousands, if not
millions, of years. No other creature on this planet has as close a relationship
with
humans as the dog. And the reason for this is that we humans have come to believe
that
dogs love us unconditionally. Despite our weaknesses, our foibles and our psychotic
behavior, they not only stick with us, they love us above all else in the world.
But that’s just what we think. We really don’t know that for
sure. We have just come to believe it. And finding out otherwise will not only
force
an abrupt change in our relationship with dogs - that change will undoubtedly
leave dogs on the short end of the stick.
Most owners of dogs already know what the barks coming from their dogs mean.
There’s the bark that means, “Let me out” and the bark that
means, “Let’s play” and the bark that means, “There’s
something out there that I don’t like.”
Frankly, any bark that means something other than those three things is not
worth knowing about. You don’t want to know. I don’t want to know.
And scientists that are working to tell us what those barks mean should be
run out
of town by a pack of dogs.
I never liked the idea of humans screwing around with Dolphins when all that
business started years ago. Sure enough, today we have dolphins trained to
plant mines on enemy ships or detect mines on friendly ships. I mean, the best
that
humans could come up with for all their communications with dolphins was to
get them to blow things up. I think blowing things up is a distinctly human
characteristic,
and I don’t think we should be involving the animal world in our idiocy.
Now, apparently, we want to start conversations with man’s best friend
which can only end up with a parting of ways over hurt feelings and indiscrete
conversations.
For the present I hold out hope that this new scientific venture will abruptly
end. I have a feeling that when these researchers get to the point when they
can understand what dogs say, the dogs will make them too ashamed to continue.
I think they will voluntarily stop their research and bring things back to
the status quo.
No other living creature on this planet understands man better than the dog.
Every mutt in every kennel has a better understanding of the psychology of
humans than Freud or Jung or any psychologist or philosopher could ever hope
for. And
what they know of us is something that frankly, we don’t really want
to know.
No, this is the totally wrong direction for humans to take. When it comes
to communication with animals, I say let sleeping dogs lie.
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