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Education in Marriage

by John J. Fanning

Every once and awhile I come across an article in a magazine or newspaper that starts gears turning in my mind and leads me off to investigate a story further or to just ponder the implications found between the lines within that story. That happened recently when I read a short article in the New York Times Magazine entitled The Real Marriage Penalty.

The story, written by Annie Murphy Paul, was only three columns long. But packed in that brevity were some statistics that both surprised me and alarmed me at the same time. To begin with, the article cited recent studies that found that women who did not have a college education were less likely to find a husband than were women who had a college degree.

As attribution for the finding, Paul cited an article published by Christine Schwartz and Robert Mare, two sociologists, in the journal Demography. In the same article, the sociologists also stated that the odds of a high-school graduate marrying someone with a college degree, decreased by forty-three percent between 1943 and the 1970’s.

The obvious implications from this change in American society were addressed in the article. Historically, college educated businessmen married secretaries, doctors married nurses and airline pilots married flight attendants. Today, businessmen are more likely to marry businesswomen, doctors more likely to marry doctors and airline pilots more likely to marry other airline pilots.

The implication of all this being that these new unions produce greater wealth and a furthering in the gap between rich and poor in this country.

What this article triggered in my mind was something not really addressed in the article. With this new shift in American society, not only would the monetary gap between the educated and less educated be increased - we would also see an increase in the loss of role models that has fueled upward mobility in America for centuries.

When an educated and successful person marries someone with less social standing, they tend to bring that person up to their level. But what may be overlooked is the extraneous impact such a union has on the relatives and friends of the person elevated through such a marriage. The child of a parent without a college education is less likely to acquire a college education. Not just because of a lack of money, but because the child has no vision or first-hand understanding of the benefits accrued through higher education. If Dad is a blue-collar worker, chances are that junior will also be a blue-collar worker.Twenty years ago, middle class families simply produced other middle class families. Generation after generation headed into the mines or factories with no greater expectation than to live a life as full and meaningful as they experienced growing up with their parents. But then, every once and awhile, a Cinderella marriage would take place that would simply change everything.

It’s one thing to tell a young man or woman that they should get an education. It’s an entirely different matter to open a door that allows that same young man or woman the opportunity to fully experience the benefits derived from higher education. When one family member moves up through marriage, their siblings and friends actually experience life at another level.

It was such experiences that convinced countless young men and women that a life similar to that of their parents simply wasn’t enough. They experienced more and they could see the way to get more. One of their own had made it - so too could they. Education was the key - and so, they became educated.

But there was also a benefit for the wealthy derived in a union with the lower class. To begin with, there was the knowledge imparted from the poorer relations that there is far more to life than owning a BMW 750i. History is replete with examples of how rich and powerful men, who married from the poorer classes, became great men thanks to the charitable efforts of their wives who encouraged philanthropy and did not forget from where they came.

I really believe it was one of the great things about America that we had an acceptance for these marriages between rich and poor, educated and uneducated. I think it greatly benefited our society that such bridges existed and fostered understanding and respect for one another. And this is why I was so uncomfortable to learn that this bridge is collapsing in our society and we are closer to the time when an impenetrable gulf may exist between the rich and poor in this country.

I am especially concerned because every day I see young men and women, having anticipated a life as simple yet accommodating as that of their parents, fall further and further down the social latter. The mines have closed. The factories are in foreign lands. Tradesmen fight unskilled or semi skilled workers willing to do their work for one-third the wages. Automation has decreased the demand for “labor” and increased the demand for highly educated “technicians”.

Take a look at every trade - Electrician, Roofer, Plumber, Stationary Engineer – it doesn’t matter. They have all changed and will continue to change. Thirty years ago, a high-school diploma made you near over-qualified. Today, most stationary engineers have a minimum of an associate degree and a bachelor degree in Stationary Engineering is now offered at colleges and universities.

In ten years, I don’t believe you will be able to hold the title of Stationary Engineer unless you have a college degree. Oh you may be a “building mechanic”, “ janitor” or some other made up title that simply means you make less money and compete everyday for a job that a thousand other men and women want. But you won’t be a stationary engineer at the status and income now enjoyed by those who hold such a position. Buildings are smarter and they demand smart people to run them. If you don’t have a college education you aren’t going to be running anything except errands.

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